Ready to up your oral sex game? There's more to oral sex than sucking and licking. Some couples say that performing oral makes them feel good and more intimately connected. With the right direction, it can be fun and intimate for both parties involved. Although you shouldn't be pressured, if you feel that oral sex isn't for you. Different body parts require different stimulation, not to mention some women have an easier time reaching climax through oral sex. Let's jump right in and get you started.
We’ve put together a list of some do’s and don'ts when it comes to oral. Here are our 8 essentials:
#1 USE VARIATION
Try to read your partner's reactions and body language and act accordingly. Use your mouth, but also don’t be afraid to use your hands. Be gentle and a little firm with the help of restraints. Use the warmth of your breath to stimulate their nerve endings. Bring in your favorite flavored lube or even their favorite toy. Loosen up and let the movements be more natural and less “planned”. Mix things up!
#2 BE VOCAL
This goes for both you and your partner. If you don't like the way they're doing something, tell them. Neither of you are mind readers. They want to know that you enjoy pleasuring them and being pleasured, so feel free to make some noise here and there and try not to fake it (you know who you are). Don't be afraid to ask your partner for some signs that they are or are not enjoying themselves. For the person performing the oral, let them know you're enjoying what you're doing by making sounds; slurp, moan, suck.
#3 EYE CONTACT, AKA "THE LOOK"
YES, MAKE EYE CONTACT. It's about the visual. For some people, eye contact can be intimidating, but wow, it is an addition. Create this erotic connection by locking eyes. Not only is this incredibly sexy, but oh so intimate when your eyes meet. No need to stare at them the entire time, just a few glances up here and there at your partner will do the trick! Seduce your partner with your eyes while your slowly licking or sucking.
#4 SLOW IT DOWN
What is the rush?! This is supposed to be a fun and sensual experience for you and your partner. Take your time, build up the excitement, and explore their body. Start from legs to inner thigh and work your way up. Foreplay will make your partner really want more. Rushing them to the finish line isn’t fun for anyone. No need to go at a tortoise’s speed, but don’t rush to the finish line.
#5 CHANGE UP THE POSITIONING
Use different positions to help enhance and give easier access to your partner. Make sure you and your partner are in comfortable positions. Prop yourself up by placing a pillow under your butt. This will tilt your pelvis into a more accessible angle. 69-ing gives you both the opportunity to pleasure each other at the same time. What could be better than that? Incorporate new positions and keep things interesting from your regular oral session routine.
#6 SPONTANEOUS
Turn an ordinary day into extraordinary and make your laundry day a little more exciting. This random act of spontaneity will let your partner know that you're interested in their sexual satisfaction. Pick a good spontaneous moment to excite them, but of course, be certain of their consent. It’s about interrupting your partner's monotonous routine to make the experience breathtaking. Keep them on their toes and feeling special by doing this sporadically.
#7 TECHNIQUES FOR A PARTNER WHO HAS A VAGINA/VULVA
Throw away the pointy aggressive tongue stabbing act; it rarely feels good. Pay attention to her body and be patient. Stay down there longer than you think you need to, but please come up for air. Work the clitoris with your tongue in a circling or “S” motion. Use slow strokes, tickling motions, sucking, and slight nibbling. Don’t forget to work the outer lips and most importantly, don’t be afraid to get messy. Learn from the experience and ask questions during (in a sultry way) or after to find out what really turns your partner on.
#8 TECHNIQUES FOR A PARTNER WHO HAS A PENIS
Take your time to build tension. Make sure your mouth is wet enough that your mouth can easily slide without much friction. There’s nothing pleasurable about a dry blowjob. Sync up your hand and mouth while in motion. If your mouth is getting too tired, use your fingers on the outside of your lips to add pressure while you relax your jaw. Give long licks from base to tip. Remember to touch and rub other parts of the body including testicles, anus, and perineum (just behind the balls). If you’re unsure about any of these, just go ahead and ask what your partner likes.
BONUS INFO
- It used to be a punishable offense in some states.
- Yes, everyone has their own unique taste, smell, and look.
- Yes, you can still get an STI from oral sex so use a condom or dental dam. (Speak to your partner before any form of intercourse)
- Your partner may or may not be able to finish. (Sometimes it's difficult to get outside of your own mind, but the effort is appreciated!)
- Flavored lube is always a fun and slippery go-to.
Migala, Jessica. "5 Oral Sex Positions That Make It Easy for You to Have an Orgasm". Health, 13 Mar 2018, https://www.health.com/sex/oral-sex-for-women.
Pardes, Arielle. "11 Must-Know Oral Sex Tips from Real Women". Women's Health. 11 Jun 2014, https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19922104/oral-sex-tips/.